The Conversatron FAQ



 The Asker
What do the little stars by the topics mean?

 Lord Amazorn
They mean that some people thought the threads in question were funny. It happens.



 The Asker
Most replies have a gray background, yet sometimes the backgrounds of the text of the answers have different colors. Weirder still, some askees have different pictures that correspond with the different colors, but others always look the same. What the hell is up with that, or did someone just slip me some LSD?

 Lord Amazorn
The color thing doesn't happen any more, so yes, you've been slipped LSD. Seek medical attention.



 The Asker
Hey, some Askers have pictures, How do I get a picture?

 Lord Amazorn

We like them better than you. You have to get us to like you. And then do something for us. And then have us decide that the thing you did is good enough to deserve an icon. It's really more trouble than it's worth at this point.




 The Asker
I can't vote on threads! I can't post followups!

 Lord Amazorn

You're not logged in. Get an account, and log in. It's painless, except for the searing pain.




 The Asker
Ok, I've done something creative and I want to give it you. Now what?

 Lord Amazorn
Really? Great. Wonderful. Really, I mean that. There are several options. 1) Our mailing address is out there on the Internet, but we would rather not just give it out here, but if you're mildly proficient with the internet, you'll figure it out. 2) Send an email to chaykin@conversatron.com or bacon@conversatron.com and then you can work out the details.



 The Asker
I had a thread that had a star and it wasn't archived, but another thread that didn't have a star was!

 Lord Amazorn
Yeah, huh, how about that?



 The Asker
There was a thread that I voted on, and the total didn't change in the way I figured it would!

 Lord Amazorn
Wow. That's weird.



 The Asker
When are you going to have another open thread? I always miss them!

 Lord Amazorn
The next time someone back here loses all of their senses. Don't worry, it's usually not long.



 The Asker
Man, that *other Q&A* site is much better than you guys!

 Lord Amazorn
And you're still here because...?



 The Asker
I posted my topic lots of times, but you guys never answered it. What gives!?

 Lord Amazorn
We don't post topics for a variety of reasons. It might have been boring, unsightly, unimaginative, pathetic, obnoxious, redundant, lame, or any of a dozen adjectives. Or maybe we just weren't in the mood. Or maybe we were annoyed at you, personally. Whatever the case, posting the same topic again and again is not going to get you that answer you so desperately wanted.



 The Asker
I've posted a large number of questions, but you guys never seem to answer mine. You must hate me. Why?

 Lord Amazorn
You have to understand that we get a lot of questions. They come in all day long, but, believe it or not, we also have lives and do occassionally sleep. Therefore, we can't possibly answer every one. Please don't take it personally. Much.



 The Asker
Sometimes I can post in a thread, and sometimes I can't. Why?

 Lord Amazorn
As a user, you are allowed to post in any thread that you've started. However, that post is only shown if some Askee decides it adds to the overall quality of the particular thread (God knows when that would ever happen, though.)



 The Asker
If I rattle off a big gob of meaningless data followed by a nonsensical question, will I get a funny answer?

 Lord Amazorn
No. As a species, we have evolved past the stage where "random and wacky" is considered "witty".



 The Asker
Are you a rip off of the Forum 2000?

 Lord Amazorn
Yes. Is that a problem?



 The Asker
How do you keep the AI of your Askers calibrated so well?

 Lord Amazorn
It's a trade secret.



 The Asker
You aren't funny. Why do you suck so much?

 Lord Amazorn
Because we hate you. Now get the fuck off my property.



 The Asker
I hate *certain ASKEE,* they're unfunny! Why do you keep them around?

 Lord Amazorn
Again, because we hate you.



 The Asker
Why don't you have *certain famous person/thing* here?
Why don't you use *certain ASKEE* more?
Why don't you do more sex jokes/video game jokes/Star Wars jokes/Star Trek jokes/computer jokes/lame puns? Why do you guys do so many sex jokes/video game jokes/Star Wars jokes/Star Trek jokes/computer jokes/lame puns?

 Lord Amazorn
See above.



 The Asker
42! Ha ha ha!

 Lord Amazorn
Shoot me.



 The Asker
[insert some common Monty Python quote, limerick, tongue twister, etc here]

 Lord Amazorn
Gee. Wow. We never thought of that. Congratulations on that brain of yours.



 The Asker
Will you write this paper or do this boring math/physics homework assignment for me?

 Lord Amazorn
No and no.



 The Asker
Please look up some easily found bit of information for me.

 Lord Amazorn
Christ people, don't you know how to use search engines? What are we, Altavista with an attitude?



 The Asker
Who is Askee _________? What are they from?

 Lord Amazorn
There were once various lists of them with descriptions, but they come and go.
Really, just try a search engine, for Christ's sake. Here, I'll give you a head start:

Altavista Search:



 The Asker
Aren't you going to end this with some sort of gag?

 Lord Amazorn
No.



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